Shoot The Moon
Getting high! Smoking some dubies ... Trying to get over Darien. It isn't easy at all .......... God, he's sexy; cute; a real fucking HOTTIE! This may not be easy, the getting over! Thing about Darien is that, though they certainly play a favourable part, it goes beyond his good looks. He is a kind caring man, with a stimulating mind. The good side of him is very good. But, oh man, can the guy be NASTY ...!!!
I know I still love him deep in my heart, even though it is a love that came fast. I believe my love is true. After all these years, hopefully I have an idea on my feelings of love. Everything is so deep these days for me.
"Down in the Depth--On the 90th Floor! (Cole Porter)"
He would likely have blocked me on msn messenger. I likely should stay away from him; he doesn't seem to care ... No fucking kidding ... He doesn't deserve a human being of my caliber in his life's path! Yet this love I feel for him seems to be real.
Fucking Aussie-WANNABE asshole creep ... Damn Darien, and the freaking online chat crap that made me fall for him!
Yeah, I admit I can fall pretty easily, but I do have a lot of love to give and a great big caring heart full of compassion and need. OK, so label me STUPID and FOOL for simply being, having human desires ...
I am a GAY MAN, damn it! We have very real urges and desires too! It has been a long lonely path for me ...
Oh my fuck! I think if I had a gun right now I'd have to shoot the moon and the stars for making me a LOVER in the first place, a caring individual ... leaving me receptive to a man and his lies.
Oh, would life not be so much easier if we were without the dumb gene that makes us hungry for love?
posted by JUSTIN KYLE @ 11:12 AM
1 Comments:
Being in love means that you are learning with heightened capacity now. There is great meaning to it. Don't feel bad about it.
The problem with most is that we EXPECT from others. If one expects nothing from Darien, one might hurt much less. Try this new attitude. You can love him, still enjoy life, and virtually eliminate any hurt you might feel now. God gives us all free will. Not to expect things from others goes right along with this.
This might help: Do a little ceremony of imagination. In a quiet moment, go to the Lake of Atagahi in your imagination. These waters heal all wounds, and all kinds of animals gather about it peacefully, for all hunger is assuaged too.
Throw the waters seven times over your shoulders, and forgive others and self for not meeting expectations. You may have answers to long held questions suddenly appear. Experience it all fully, and at the end, rejoice for having a clear mind once again. Forgiveness often helps greatly.
Love is not stupid. With love, all things are accomplished. We heal ourselves, we heal each other.
Can you see love everywhere you look? That is the challenge.
Can you do it?
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