Only In My Mind

I feel abandoned by the world.

Today I am making a real effort but am being discouraged by things. I am trying to de-cluttr my apartment here, for one ... Who knows what after that ... I know I need to move onward. Yet life seems to be sending me another message with pains and the fact that I have been stuck here for over 5 years.

THE GRIPS OF DEPRESSION
The more I stay in this apartment, the more it is pissing me off. Why? Well, the lady upstairs doesn't seem to control her chlldren very well. They run inside and that translates to pounding on my ceiling at this end. As if I did not have enough problems. In many ways, I feel like I cannot breathe in here.

I know I have to get busy and stay that way, but it is extremely hard to do when you are already tired all the time. Only someone in this kind of situation could possibly know just how much this situation is like falling down a deep hole. Can I get back up and out of it? Really? Am I fooling myself again?

Sometimes I think having just one friend would help me out of this situation .... But, alas, I do not have that one friend ....